Glimpse of Heaven: Relief

Relief. What a fabulous feeling. It might sound strange, but after this past week's events, I'd argue that "relief" can hold a candle to even love or joy. Let me explain...and perhaps you'll see what I mean. 

First, a trivial (but OH SO REAL) example. I have a small bladder. So pregnant me had an even smaller bladder. Too much information? Sorry. It is necessary, I promise! Ok - so with that in mind, pretend you're me and imagine the following scenario:

You're driving along. Your abdomen has been lovingly hi-jacked by a growing baby, dancing right on top of your tiny bladder. You come upon a traffic jam. You're stuck. No where to go. And you HAVE to pee. Not the "I can wait" way. The "if we don't start moving soon, I will abandon this car and start walking to the nearest gas station" way. After ten agonizing minutes...the jam clears. You race off the freeway, find the nearest open business, waddle inside and desperately ask if you can use the restroom. The Front Desk Worker says, "we don't have a public restroom." Your eyes begin to well up with tears. Out of sheer sympathy for your pathetic condition, an exception is made for you. You shout out "oh, bless you!," promise to name your child after said Front Desk Worker (I didn't...woops!), and run, as well as a pregnant woman can, towards the bathroom door. Relief...thank the good Lord!

Relief. Again I say, there may be no greater feeling, right!?

Ok, so on a more serious note...this past week, John and I endured the most nightmarish day of our entire lives. Our sweet 2 month old, Lucie suffered a severely adverse reaction to her first vaccination. Before I proceed, two things: (1) Lucie, from what we can tell, is absolutely fine now - relief...thank the good Lord! and (2) this is not a "you should or should not vaccinate your child" post. I realize that debate could rage for ages, and I firmly believe parents should make their own decisions regarding what is best for their specific child/situation. For the sake of the story, however, I found it necessary to include the vaccine detail. 

Anyway, John and I found ourselves in a situation where we had absolutely, completely, NO control. It felt as if, for the first time in our lives, there was literally nothing that we could do to remedy what was happening (I've since realized this will be the continual theme of parenthood!). We just had to wait in agony, terror and heartbreak while whatever Lucie was reacting to exited her little system. NEVER has the message of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - "Pray without ceasing" been more real to us. We prayed hard. We prayed audibly. We prayed with our whole beings. We prayed through tears, tears, and more tears (I'm even weeping now!).

Relief. After twelve horrible hours, our Brave Little Toaster slowly became herself again. Relief. We praised God for His healing hand and asked for continual protection over Lucie. No relapses came and she continued to improve. Relief. The next day, we met with our very empathetic, understanding pediatrician who listened intentionally and provided sound, common-sense advice. Relief. What a wonderful feeling it is. 

Since that day, we've admittedly wondered why God allowed Lucie, such a sweet, innocent little thing, to go through so much pain (as I'm sure many parents have done when their kids are sick/hurting). We realize that we might never have the answer to that question. We're also coming to terms with the fact that, while we can do our best to protect our little one, God is in complete control of her life. And on this imperfect side of Heaven, that can seem like a very scary thing. But, if we really trust the Lord who has given Lucie life, we must look at what happened and learn something from it. 

Ok so things we've learned:

• We are not kids anymore. We're adults who have been entrusted with raising another human being. And quite frankly, that is frightening.
• Parenthood is absolutely terrifying! Holy cow. John and I were given a glimpse of what parents of really sick children go through 24/7...we honestly don't know how they manage to endure - bless their brave, breaking hearts. 
• "Pray without ceasing" is not just a friendly catch phrase! It is a stern, loving invitation from a benevolent Creator to join in conversation with Him - to align with His will...as He is ultimately in control of our lives. It is our means of sanity in the midst of insanity. And in the midst of last week's events, it was our means to relief...thank the good Lord!

Most importantly, we learned that...the feeling of relief is a glimpse of Heaven. You see, one day, when we are standing in front of the God who created mountains, oceans, and solar systems... the God who understands the agony of watching His Child in pain... the God who keeps His promises, who is the Author and Perfecter of our faith... when we meet Him, Perfect to imperfect faces, I suspect we'll breathe a collective sigh of relief ...and shout "thank the good Lord!" 

And then I'll run for the nearest bathroom. :)

Figuring it out - one prayer at a time,

"I love the Lord for He heard my voice. He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live." Psalm 116:1-2